What’s In a Job Title?

Since I have my fingers in several pies and am self employed, I don’t really have a job title and sometimes struggle to come up with something when someone asks me what I do for a living.

The problem arises because I don’t really do just “one thing”. Working for myself has given me tremendous freedom in what I do online and to be honest, I do whatever will make me money on any given week.

Unable to have a boxed ticked next to my job description like regular employed workers, I have used several terms, such as “internet marketing consultant” and “online business developer” to describe what I do. I have used “internet entrepreneur” if I am feeling really pleased with myself and just plain old “web developer” if I cannot be bothered to describe what I do in more detail.

The question is, what’s in a job title? I could come up with loads of fancy descriptions of what I do, which all amount to the same thing - sitting in front of my PC trying my best to earn a living and stay out of a “proper job”.

This got me thinking about some of the ridiculous politically correct job descriptions which make even the most mundane of tasks appear really hi-tech and important. For example, a lorry driver is now a “freight logistics facilitator”.

I have come up with another 20 fantastic jobs which could easily be advertised as positions at your local council offices but are not all they first appear to be:

Politically Correct Job Titles

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer - Barman
2. Colour Distribution Technician - Painter & Decorator
3. Customer Experience Enhancment Constultant - Shop Assistant
4. Domestic Technician - Housewife
5. Education Centre Nourishment Consultant - Dinner Lady
6. Highway Environmental Hygienist - Road Sweeper
7. Field Nourishment Consultant - Waitress
8. Five a Day Collection Operative - Fruit Picker
9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator - Call Centre Worker
10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician - Dish Washer
11. Mass Production Engineer - Factory Worker
12. Media Distribution Officer - Paper Boy
13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator - Burger Van Worker
14. Mortar Logistics Engineer - Labourer
15. Product Replenishment Officer - Shelf Stacker
16. Recycling Operative - Bin Man
17. Sanitation Consultant - Toilet Cleaner
18. Subterranean Fossil Fuel Engineer - Miner
19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator - Window Cleaner
20. Vehicle Restoration Engineer - Panel Beater

Got any more? Add them as a comment below!